Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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