He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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