Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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