another moral hangover. fuck.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
