I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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