I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
