he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize