At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize