You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
