Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
