are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
