There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
