I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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