I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
