dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
