Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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