we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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