I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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