franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Drunk is not a location!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize