obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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