If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize