I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
