I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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