This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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