i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i've created a new STD.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
