That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
