Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
