So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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