Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
