love makes seman taste better
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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