I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
