Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
