Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize