oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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