Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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