So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
