I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize