I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
