Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
