Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize