Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
