Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
