worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
