i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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