Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
