this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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