with your own penis?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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