i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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