Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
