White coat. Heels.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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