quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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