i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
