ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
