i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So many bounce houses so little time
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
