Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He felt like a one man threesome
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
