How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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