Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
