Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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