Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
