After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize