Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize