Got a toothbrush?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize