omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
