Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
