She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
