I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
