We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
