Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
