If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
