I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
