I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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