You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
