did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
